Wednesday, August 3, 2011


Moving to North Carolina was one of the biggest changes in my life. Oftentimes I look around, sweating under the summer sun, and think about how crazy it is that I ended up here, in the South, when I always thought I'd remain near my Yankee roots. Then I realize my wonder isn't necessarily sparked by that life change, but by my (seemingly) sudden presence in adulthood. Much to my own bewilderment, as a child I always wanted to be an adult. Now that I am one, I don't want it anymore. Adulthood. It's not that I desire to be six again, but I want the freedom, the innocence, the ignorance to the ways of this world and its ability to bruise.

I saw two kids, perhaps around five, in Walmart the other day; one boy and one girl. The boy was wide-eyed approaching a display of fresh fruit that was successfully luring him in. The girl drifted behind, consumed with giggles and twirling her body around while watching her blue and white skirt follow. For a moment I wanted to toss down my list, allow the cart to wander off, and spin too.

I don't understand why I keep returning to this topic: my dread of the monotony of being an adult. Please don't mistake this post as a sign of my unhappiness or regret, even. I am very happy and very blessed. I do wish I would remember God's promises more and trust the prevailing of His will in my life if I just let it happen. Aside from that, I wouldn't change a thing.

Other than wishing for the social acceptance of public swirling no matter what the age of the swirler.

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